So I want to be candid about this international dating scene. There are so many layers. I feel like I am over debating with folks about the perception that everybody wants your damn visa. Here are some things I have learned that may be helpful if that is your fear.
1. Many white American and European women run over Africa and the Caribbean looking for sex with Black bodies. While we may see ourselves differently as Black American women, Africans often don’t. They just see us as Americans and often think the same rules apply. If you come across these men and that is not your intention, check they asses and keep it moving. Some may even straighten up and realize they actually like you because they all of a sudden respect you, STILL KEEP IT MOVING. Those types are not to be trusted.
2. Poverty is a real thing. If you go the village for love understand that you will have to deal with all that comes with that. You want to meet viable partners, with real potential for equitable partnerships opt to stay at the best hotels and ditch the hostels. Ain’t nobody in college anymore anyway. ( I did not even do them then)
3. Language barriers are very hard to navigate. You may not really understand the person in front of you, their politics and perceptions. If you are trying to be serious then this can be a disaster when you finally have a language in common. Hit those language classes and move slow.
4. Make sure you are ready to move. You can meet a great guy who has the ability to care for you in their own country but this is complicated if you have an expectation they will just move to the US. The resources they have that allows for a good life in their country may not translate along with their professional credentials and skills.
5. The best part about the Caribbean and Africa is people will tell you a person’s reputation if you ask. You can give some space for haters but most of the time you can trust the information, USE it to make better choices for yourself.
6. Pretenders exist everywhere! If a man is telling you a little too much about his money he probably has none. Your intuition is your best friend when traveling. I had a guy show me all his visas for various countries. I understood his point but it was corny and men with real mobility just take flights.
7. If you would not date a man that can not pick you up and take you to dinner in America then don’t entertain it in another country. The same rules apply.